


Step By Step

by carolinablu85



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Songfic, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-06
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-25 18:51:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinablu85/pseuds/carolinablu85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Giving thanks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Step By Step

**Author's Note:**

> One-shot written for the luke_noah LiveJournal Community's Challenge #12: the first time Luke and Noah have sex post-show :) It's a short fic, enjoy! Also, fair warning, slight songfic based on an annoyingly catchy song. Thanks for reading!

Luke sat on the bed, running his hand along the stitches of the quilt. It had been a long time since he’d been in this room. He had stayed at his mother’s house for so long, and his own apartment for the past month or so. But here, at the farm? It had been a very long time.

The sound of the kitchen door opening and closing below, followed by the cheers and greetings of people, brought him back to the present. Luke sighed a little. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be here. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Thanksgiving with his family. It was just... something felt off. It would help if he knew  _what_ , but he didn’t.

Footsteps echoed loudly up the stairs, and suddenly Natalie was in the doorway of his room. “Luke! Come see, come see!” And then she was gone again.

Luke sighed a little again, pushing himself up to his feet, heading for the stairs. It was probably Aaron or Abby, both promised to show up this time. At the bottom step, he opened the door halfway and peeked out. And froze.

Aaron was there, talking to Jack, arm around Faith. But Luke’s eyes had immediately, instinctively, zeroed in on the other newcomer.

Noah.

He was smiling- a real, genuine Noah smile- talking to Lily and Emma. Ethan was attached to him piggyback style, hugging his shoulders, asking a million questions. When Noah leaned down to release Ethan back to the ground, he inadvertently gave Luke a great look at his chest, just visible through the undone buttons of his Henley. A new shirt, off-white, that set off the tan he was now sporting. New jeans, dark and fitted and cutting his hips just right. Even new shoes. He looked like a movie star, not a starving artist/aspiring filmmaker.

Luke shook his head, as though it was a mirage. “What...?”

Holden was standing by the stairs and overheard him. He smiled gently. “Mama and I invited him,” he explained quietly, just for Luke’s ears. “He was going to be spending the holidays alone, so we sent Aaron to drag him back home.”

“Oh,” was all Luke could say, still staring at Noah. He had day-old stubble along his jaw. And a new haircut. And a new messenger bag at his feet, a nice one. Noah wasn’t one to indulge. Had the bag been a gift? From who? When? Who did Noah-

“Luke,” his dad was studying him closely. “I’m sorry, really, if you’re not ready to see him. But we couldn’t let him hide for the holidays. It wouldn’t be right for him to be alone. It’s bad enough we missed his birthd-”

“No, it’s okay,” Luke cut him off. He didn’t want to think about that debacle. They had forgotten- in the latest drama of his parents, in the final selling of Grimaldi Shipping, in a pregnancy complication of Carly’s- about Noah’s birthday. It wasn’t until Casey and Ali called him and bitched him out for missing it (and Maddie an hour later) that he realized he’d fucked up. Along with being a bad ex, he’d been a bad friend too.

He and his family had spent the next week making it up to Noah, sending him gifts and care packages, calling him frequently. And of course Noah hadn’t blamed them, had easily forgiven. But Luke hadn’t.

And now Noah was here. In Oakdale. Looking like a damn runway model. Luke felt a tiny stab of fear- it seemed like a silly thought- but what if Noah had changed? What if he had a new personality to go with his new look?

But then Noah looked up and saw him. And smiled. It was shy, almost uncertain, but so full of relief and love that Luke felt it all through his chest. It was still Noah. “Hi Luke.”

He almost cracked. Noah’s voice sounded way more...  _Noah_ , in person. The few phone calls they’d shared hadn’t been enough. But Luke couldn’t crack now. Not yet, and definitely not when they had an audience like this one. So instead he returned the smile, noticing Noah’s shoulders relax at that ( _He’s nervous too. Oh thank God_ ), and raised one eyebrow. “No plaid?”

Noah looked startled for just a second, before mirroring the expression. “No stripes?”

Luke grinned, moving forward, pulling Noah into a hug. There was a feeling then, a  _click_ , a lock, something settling into place.  _Right._ Wrapping his arms tight across Noah’s back, he tilted his head up just enough to whisper in Noah’s ear, “I’m glad you’re here.”

Noah shook for just a second, then tilted his head a little to rest it against Luke’s. “Me too.”

They pulled back, arms and then hands lingering on each other. And then Aaron was standing next to them. “Oh yes, bro,” he deadpanned. “I so missed you too. Please. I can’t stand all this attention.”

Luke reluctantly took a step away from Noah to hug his brother. “You always were such a drama queen.”

Aaron laughed lightly. “Runs in the family.” Luke pretended he didn’t hear Noah laugh at that.

That was all the contact they had for awhile after that. There were more people to hug, and food to prepare, and a squash to cut. And while they sat next to each other at the table- Luke grabbing Noah’s hand firmly for Grace when Noah hesitated- they didn’t really get a chance to talk. Especially with the kids asking about Disneyland and Hollywood every ten seconds.

Luke got roped into cleaning up afterwards, and by the time they were done and the after-dinner coffee was poured and the football game was playing once again on the parlor TV, Luke realized Noah was nowhere to be found. A glance at the coat rack told him Noah’s jacket was missing too. Another look around to be safe, then Luke grabbed his own coat and snuck outside.

He planned on checking the pond, but for some reason he ducked his head into the barn first. And smiled.  _Of course._

Noah was there, at the second to last stall on the right. At Lockwood’s stall. Lockwood was an old rescue pony Holden had brought home last year during the summer. Natalie had named it after some character in a tap-dancing movie she and Noah loved. After Holden’s “death” in Kentucky, Luke had found Noah out here with Lockwood a lot, usually helping Nat and Ethan take care of the pony but sometimes just Noah, brushing its mane and talking softly.

Luke smiled wider. “I think he missed you,” he called out quietly.

Noah jumped a little, blushing. “He missed the pushover who always fed him extra carrots,” he corrected, hastily brushing his hands on his jacket (which, Luke was somewhat relieved to note, was still that old denim one; some things hadn’t changed).

Luke joined him at the stall, chuckling at the way Lockwood bumped his nose into Noah’s shoulder eagerly. He watched Noah’s face soften as he ran his hand up and down the pony’s neck gently. Before he knew what he was doing, Luke’s hand joined Noah’s. Seconds later, it was  _on_  Noah’s.

Noah stilled, but Luke threaded his fingers through Noah’s, keeping his hand moving. Their hands moving. Together.

Suddenly Noah’s fingers tightened around his. Suddenly Noah was looking at him, pulling their hands away from Lockwood but keeping them together. Suddenly they were standing so close together. “Luke...?”

Luke had no idea how they went from that to making out against the wall in the kitchen of his apartment. No idea. But they were, and it was good. And that little bit of time travel was very, very good. And Luke didn’t want to stop kissing Noah. That was even better.

There was that  _click_ , that  _right_  again, when his mouth was on Noah’s, when Noah’s hands were on him. When they stood with legs entangled and hips pressed together. With Noah’s hands gently, almost carefully, framing his face, holding him there as he savored the kiss. With his own hands roaming from Noah’s hair to his shoulders, to his back, back up around his neck. Everywhere.

“Luke,” Noah’s voice, rougher, deeper, seeped through his skin. “Luke, you- are you, is this...?” He moaned just a little, the sound a mix of want and worry, almost stumbling even more into Luke.

“I’m sure,” Luke said it as he inhaled, not wanting to waste time deciding between words and air. Noah’s mouth searched for his, and Luke surged forward again to meet it, nearly cutting Noah’s lip on his teeth. “I’m  _sure_.”

“Luke,” Noah whispered his name again, but he had no idea if it was for reassurance or just an involuntary reaction.

“Swear,” he gasped out, leaving kissing anywhere he could find bare skin, which was just not enough right now. “I mean it.” He slid his hands down to Noah’s hips, just above his belt, covering as much of Noah as he could with the grip. “Just want you.” He quickly flipped them around so Noah was back against the wall.

Noah barely had any time to register the change in position, Luke stealing his breath with another kiss almost immediately. He used his hips to pin Noah’s in place, steadying him there, while his hands grabbed at that Henley and pulled it up and away. The two percent of his brain not concentrating on this hoped that the white shirt landed somewhere clean, so Noah couldn’t complain about it later. The other ninety-eight percent of his brain told him to shut up and kiss Noah. Luke went with the majority there.

Noah’s hands were still somewhat clumsily clutching at Luke’s face, but he finally got with the program. One hand stayed grasping at his hair while the other slid down from his neck down his chest, lingering for just a second over his heart like an acknowledgement, then continuing on to the bottom of his shirt. His mouth was otherwise engaged, but Luke smiled a little anyway, rolling his hips forward a little into Noah’s, just enough to encourage him onwards.

Noah gave another soft moan, the two of them vibrating as Luke answered it with one of his own. “Want you too,” Noah murmured, lifting Luke’s shirt up over his head, letting it drop to the floor. “You’re sure?”

There was real fear in his eyes, mixed in with the lust. Luke softened, and he took a moment to run a hand gently through Noah’s not-quite-long-enough-to-be-curly hair. “This, right here?” Luke laid his other hand on Noah’s chest. His skin was the perfect kind of warm. “It’s about you and me. Nothing else. And I want it. You. This.”

He thought for a second that Noah would question him again, but that second disappeared when Noah’s mouth was on his again. Luke smiled into the kiss, stepping back so he could lead Noah towards the bedroom. They never broke contact as they went, leaving a trail of discarded clothing along the way. (And how cliché was that? A trail of clothing? But Luke decided that he liked the way it looked, what it meant.)

By the time they made it to his bed, collapsing onto it together in a rush, they were both naked, skin to skin and heart to heart. It was all so fevered and heady that Luke couldn’t even figure out if he was under Noah or on top of him, and he didn’t really care. He was acting on never-forgotten instincts and never-forgotten love, and that was all he could recognize at this point.

And Noah was right there with him, mouthing along the skin of his neck, scraping teeth gently across a tendon there. Luke sighed at the feeling, one of his hands sliding down the length of Noah’s body while Noah scrambled to grasp his hips. (Huh. Guess he was on top of Noah, then.) And that feeling, that  _right_ , was magnified by a billion. He didn’t stop to count how long it’d been since they’d been together like this. It didn’t matter. They were here now. It was  _right.  
_  
His mouth was now attached (permanently? If only) to Noah’s, but his hand continued to move, curling firmly around Noah’s cock, stroking a few times. Noah arched up into his hand, whimpering into his mouth. Luke smiled as he swallowed down the sound of it, of Noah.

“Luke,” Noah broke off with a gasp, eyes wide, locked with his. “I- Jesus, please...”

“What, Noah?” He continued to stroke him, not quite hard enough, keeping his mouth near Noah’s ear. “What do you want?” Luke realized with a start that this was what he was looking for, down to its most basic form- he needed Noah to tell him what he wanted.

And Noah did. “You,” his hands tightened around Luke’s hips, his ass. “I want, fuck,  _anything_ , Luke. As long as it’s you.”

Luke gave him everything.

***

He woke up slowly, his body wonderfully exhausted and snug up against that perfect warmth. Legs were tangled between his, and an arm was draped around his hip, resting against his stomach. Their hands were joined together there.

A glance at the window told him it was early morning, and he smiled, kind of surprised he and Noah managed to sleep through the entire night. And then he realized Noah probably hadn’t slept the whole time, because judging by the way his thumb was steadily rubbing into Luke’s palm, he was definitely awake now.

He smiled wider, turning around slowly to face him. Noah was laid out there next to him, his hair a beautiful mess, a small smile on his lips, though his eyes were still closed. Luke snuggled in close, kissing his cheek. The thumb stopped moving across his hand and held on tight instead.

“Morning,” Luke whispered, laying his head down on the same pillow as Noah.

“Morning,” Noah murmured back, pulling their joined hands to rest between them.

Luke laughed a little. “You going to open your eyes at some point?”

Noah shook his head almost stubbornly. “No.”

“Aw, come on,” he teased softly. “Why not?”

There was the tiniest of hesitations. “I- I don’t want to lose the moment,” Noah spoke in a rush, his face turning pinker, eyes still firmly shut.

The next laugh died in his throat. Luke frowned a little. “Lose the moment?”

Noah squeezed his eyes shut even tighter somehow. “When I open my eyes, it’s going to be tomorrow, and I don’t know what’s supposed to happen now. If I keep them closed, it’s still yesterday. I don’t want to leave yesterday yet.”

Luke blinked hard a few times, biting his lip. “Noah...”

“I don’t want to go back, Luke,” he whispered, just this side of agonized. “I don’t want to go back to that. I just want to stay next to you, and not have anything ruin it. Not have anything, I don’t know, between us.”

Luke leaned in again, pressing a kiss to Noah’s forehead, but he still wouldn’t open his eyes. “Hey, I-”

His cell rang right at that moment. Of course. Luke would’ve ignored it, but it was the ringtone he assigned to his parents, and it could be important. Plus, he had kind of disappeared yesterday after dinner...

He glanced at Noah again (his eyes were still closed), and sighed, sitting up and grabbing his phone. “Hello?”

“Luke! Where are you? Where have you been? What happened, are you okay?” his mom’s voice spilled out into his ear.

“Mom, it’s okay, we’re fine,” Luke leaned back against the headboard, taking a chance and running his hand through Noah’s hair, letting it sift through his fingers slowly. Noah leaned into him a little bit, but didn’t open his eyes. “We’re at my place, okay?”

There was dead silence for maybe two seconds. “We? Noah’s  _with_  you?!” Lily nearly screeched the words, leaving a ringing in his ear.

“Yes, jeez! Would you pipe down a little maybe? You’re going to wake up the house!” Luke hissed, hoping beyond hope that Noah couldn’t hear her.

“Sorry, sorry,” she apologized with a rush. “So, did he just stop over for breakfast or...?” Her tone was a mix of excited and teasing.

He groaned. “First of all, how old are you? You sound like Faith. Second, none of your business. Third-”

“Luke,” she cut him off, sincere now. “Are you okay? Both of you? Things are okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered softly, eyes focused on Noah. “Yeah, we are.” Noah may have reacted a little bit to that, he couldn’t tell for sure. “Um, so anyway,” he cleared his throat, “Sorry we ducked out early last night. Grandma’s not too mad, is she?”

“She won’t be when I tell her  _this_ ,” Lily was smiling again, he could tell. He rolled his eyes a bit (Noah’s were still closed) and sighed again. “I’m guessing you’d like me to hang up so you two can-”

“Oh my God Mom, do not finish that thought,” he held up a hand as though she could see him. “Noah and I will see you at lunch later, okay?” It took another minute or two of reassurances and ducking her not-so-casual questions before Luke finally got her to hang up. He turned back to Noah, scooting down on the bed so they were lying face to face again. “Hey.”

“They’re not mad that we left last night, are they?” Noah asked carefully.

“Of course not,” he assured. He kissed Noah softly, across his closed eyelids. “Noah, look at me. Please.” Another kiss. “Please?”

He waited patiently (surprising himself, to be honest) until Noah slowly dragged his eyes open. “I don’t want to go back to that,” he repeated his words from earlier.

“I don’t either,” Luke answered honestly. He placed on hand on Noah’s chest. Over his heartbeat. “You said you didn’t want anything to be between us anymore.” He looked up from his hand into Noah’s eyes, holding his gaze. “There isn’t.”

Noah gave him his classic skeptical sideways look. “It’s not that simple, Luke.”

He shrugged one shoulder, tapping his fingers idly on Noah’s chest. “I know. But last night... last night was amazing, Noah. It was what I wanted, it was-”

“It was right,” Noah finished for him, soft, his own hand sliding up and down Luke’s arm. His fingers flexed a little along Luke’s skin, as though he wanted to grab hold of Luke and never let go. Or maybe that was just Luke hoping he would.

 _It was right_.

Luke nodded. “I’ve missed you so much. Not just you, or this, but... but everything. How you always laughed at my really bad jokes, and how you’d get that silly frown when I don’t rinse my dishes, and how excited you always were when we’d get a new donor for the foundation.”

Noah’s face twisted into somewhere between hopeful and wary. “Luke-”

“I miss the way I feel when I’m around you. I miss making you laugh. I miss seeing you get that look, that ‘I-can’t-believe-things-can-be-this-good’ look? I miss feeling that way too. And Noah, baby, this, what I feel right now?” He kissed Noah slowly, relieved that Noah kissed him back. “It’s all about you and me. There’s nothing between us now, Noah. No memories or regrets, no people, no-”

“No clothes?” Noah smirked just a little.

Relief swept through Luke like a windstorm. “Got that right.” He slung one of his legs over Noah’s hip, pulling him in close. And grinned wide when Noah went along with it, leaning in and rubbing his nose against Luke’s. “I just want it to be you and me.”

“I want that too,” Noah replied quickly. “Luke, I think it’s the only thing in my life I’ve ever truly wanted.”

“Good,” he smiled wide. “And I know that geeky part of your brain right now is worrying about logistics, and having to go back to California, and all that.” Noah’s blush confirmed it. “And yeah, we have to work that stuff out. But the important thing?” He cupped the back of Noah’s head, bringing him in for another loud, smacking kiss. “The important thing is we’re  _going_  to work it out.”

Noah nodded, taking a deep breath. Luke recognized it as his Noah’s-about-to-say-something-important breath. “Luke, I- I love you,” he burst out with it, continuing quickly before Luke can say anything. “You don’t have to say it back, I don’t need to hear it back. I just need to _say_  it. I love you, and you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I need  _you_ to hear it, I need you to know I-”

Luke shut him up fiercely, diving in with his mouth, staying there until Noah was breathless, lips swollen and bruised-pink. “I love you too,” he murmured. “Noah, I swear to you, I’ve never stopped. I say stupid stuff sometimes-” he smacked him on the chest lightly when Noah snorted at that. “-But I never stopped loving you.”

Noah kissed him this time, slow and sweet. “And you’re not going to.” It was somewhere between a request and a demand.

And Luke just smiled, stretching out, rolling on top of Noah. “It’d be pretty damn impossible, Noah Mayer.”

 _Step by step, day by day  
_   
_A fresh start over, a different hand to play  
_   
_The deeper we fall, the stronger we stay_   
_And we’ll be better the second time around..._


End file.
